As I passed through the early months of resettlement I spent a lot of time on the upper wrap around porch at my son’s. Sometimes I was just passing time, other times I was trying to figure out , what would make me happy. Not that I was unhappy, just unsettled and unfulfilled. Killing time between commitments did not do it, nor did cooking in a small kitchen with an electric stove. I am not a fan of electric stove cooking. I decided to get to the basics…of me.
During this time I tried to define myself. I decided to make a list (only the start of listing.) I wanted to concentrate on who I am, was, and will be…and my strengths and weaknesses. I wanted to make myself more aware of what I enjoyed. I wanted to delve into ME. I wanted to get to the basics.
I even took a mini test online…what makes you happy??? After about 10 questions…I am an Artisan. I enjoy being in a state of “Flow”, taking pleasure in what I am doing, being absorbed in what demands my skill and attention. That doesn’t sound like retired, right?
I doodled and dabbled over time with a variety of thoughts. I listed. Now I need to commit to some of those thoughts as I went through the self examination.
Who I’ve been…
Mother in Law
Sister in Law
Who I Am
What I Enjoy
Actually I have determined that some of my strengths could also be classified as weaknesses, and some of my weaknesses could also be classified as strengths.
Yet another activity I did was to create a little workbook and list the following:
The best thing that ever happened to me
5 things that I like about myself
3 ways others would describe me
Finish this sentence: My dream is…
Why am I here
50 things that make me happy (this changes daily).
I will talk about that workbook in the future. Take notice that this workbook exercise concentrates on only positives, no negatives. It has been a process. A thinking process right now. I have not done a lot of actual writing.
How does all of this relate to Porch Perfect Living. Let me explain. In some ways I looked at retirement as relaxing on a porch, listening and watching nature, sipping red wine, reading and learning, writing and expressing. Here is what I have come to realize…I can enjoy the porch, however this type of retirement is not perfect nor is it living.
In the past it was on a porch that I decided to change my life. It was on a porch that I shared my hopes and dreams. It was on a porch that I laughed and cried and shared my life with so many. So it is now that I sit on a porch and contemplate who I have been, who I am, who I want to be. It is on a porch that I consider my strengths and my weaknesses. It is on the porch that I am musing. I am reflecting on the past, present, and future. I am at a crossroads. Do I “retire” from life, or do I reenter and begin anew?
I bring to the written page a woman with life experience and interests on so many levels that sometimes it makes my head spin. I want to share so many thoughts and yet create a blog that is focused on what is important to me and hopefully in someway might touch others. I think this will be a process and as I begin and continue the journey, I hope to learn from my followers on their journey as well.